(I feel I should apologise for the lame title... So, sorry.)
It actually does correlate to the post itself this time, however. So perhaps my apology is unnecessary...
Well... Before I forget the purpose of this cheese-fest of a title, I shall get into it. Pleasantries!
Awhile back (well, just at the beginning of summer really. How is it that we are almost in autumn AND it is already almost time to go back to university?), I did something I rarely ever do since joining the social networking site that is facebook and started receiving messages from international psycho-freaks about their intentions to make me their (fourth) wife.
I checked my facebook inbox. And this is monumental for me, as I don't do too well with cyber - freaks and their possible polygamous tendencies, and so I almost never check it Except of course, on this particular day.
And I got this controversy of a message on interracial relationships.
Dear Jamie: I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers
I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, Educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black females attitudes about our relationship.
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public.. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...
I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
Dear Jamie: I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have be come intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie and Robin Thicke, to name a few..
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.
It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them; being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given. Signed, Black Royalty
This is none other than shambolic. Yes, shambolic. We profess that as humans, we are superior to animals given our heightened intellect and our abilities to THINK rationally, and yet, we get into squabbles such as this? In the twentieth century?
What is most unfortunate about these letters is that, despite relationships being the focus of the argument, there is no mention of LOVE.
You know, the supposed reason why relationships exist? Yes, I say supposed, because due to our primitive way of thinking, we have conjured up this notion that love is confined to the colour of our skin or the pre-imposed stereotypes,and that people are different, MERELY because one's skin is darker or more freckled than the other?
This is not to say I think I live in a world where unicorns exist and pigs fly and I have a pet tyrannosaurus, and therefore think that the world is beautiful and racism does not exist, because it does. In all kinds of ways; black on white, white on black. It does. Unfortunate as it may be. But racism being interjected into LOVE is terrifying, and wrong on so many different levels.
So please, cyber world, when an opportunity comes to slate interracial relationships on the BIASED basis that we are culturally different, refer back to the existential purpose of REAL relationships in the first place; an arena for love to be expressed. (note the 'real' there. I'm am leaving room for those who have other... ahem... reasons for being in relationships).
You can tell this whole shenanigan irks my system. Why, you ask? Because! I am a firm believer in the institutional mystery of LOVE! Yes. Call me mushy or whatever, but trying to control love based on flimsy excuses such as skin colour is STUPIDITY. More unfortunate is that people who are deemed 'intelligent' usually fall short of this vital intellectual clarity.
Added to that is the fact that I am head over heels in love with Chad Michael Murray (Well... Lucas Scott, really) and Ian Somerhalder. At least for now... Ooohhh... And Boris Kodjoe... And Taye Diggs... Um... I'll leave you now...
"There is only one race. And that is the HUMAN race"
*sorry for the longevity of this post, by the way... Ummph*
Well. I have vented, my diatribe is over. It seems I have to go look for something to eat. Like nutella on toast. Yum.