Saturday, 7 May 2011
On having natural hair... and all that jazz in between...
Only when I became 'natural', did I realise there was this feud between the natural haired ladies and the ones on 'creamy crack', as relaxers have been labelled now. Ohhh madame CJ Walker. See what you've caused!
Okay, I kid. Much respect for madame CJ actually.
I like the message this lady addresses. One's decision to become natural should not become the cause for speculation on the person's motive, or a reason to attack said person. I should also point out here that I have no problem whatsoever with people who perm their hair, or use weaves. Autonomy is key in life. However, I have a problem with the misconception that without a weave, you are not beautiful. I refuse to buy into that brainwashed ideology of straight hair being the key to beauty.
I've never had a weave. No, that is a fib. I had one of those glue in block fringe thingies sometime last year, and that was a wholeeee new experience for me, seeing as that was the closest I had ever come to having a weave. And it itched like hell. And also resulted in the worst forehead breakout of my entire existence.
Coming from someone who is still dealing with insecurity issues due to the spot- infestation puberty so kindly graced my face with, having more spots was something I was not planning on dealing with. So off the fringe went. That was the last of my weave experimentation. Hahaha... I don't think I can handle that much itching, ALL OVER MY HEAD this time, should I get a full weave done. Bad times.
Anyways, the point of this rant herein, is just to spread this simple message: 'Chill out'. Yerp. I had to resort to the use of youthful vernacular to get my message across.
I hear too many girls voice their opinions on natural hair being ugly, and not looking as nice as fake hair, and yada yada yada...
I see too many girls sold out on the silly idea that their real hair (Be it natural or relaxed), is not fit to be shown to society in that state, unless more hair has been sewn into it, or unless their 'signature' bouncy curls have been attached to their hair.
I see wayyyy too many girls who believe that the weave(s) on their heads define who they are, and therefore have the audacity to look down on girls who decide to go natural. This saddens me.
And the WORST part of it all? I see boys, who fuel this craze for Rapunzel hair within our community by requiring that their potential girlfriends or current girl affiliates have certain types of hair, or have ' hair length requirements' which these girls must adhere to.
Before I became natural, I was already dealing with MAJOR insecurity issues. Like most girls do; not thinking I was good enough, not pretty enough, too loud, too weird, easily misunderstood, too complicated, never being referred to as 'being pretty' during conversations, too different. That was the part that scared me the most. It's amazing now how the tables have turned, and weird is the new cool, and being different is celebrated. I HATED IT. I hated always having opinions on the topics that people would rather not know about, hated that I had to make myself into this particular type of person to please these particular type of people. Hated that I was not the quintessential 'damsel in distress' teenage girl who had all the boys swooning by the faintest batting of an eyelash. I was always the 'Best friend', the girl who understood the boys' predicament, the girl who drew conversations out of people by making a total fool of herself, the girl who, despite never having been in a relationship was the ultimate relationship guru. I wanted to be that other girl. Always.
Sheesh. Talk about being riddled with insecurities, right?
And then I went natural. W..elll... I just shaved my hair off really, not intending to 'go natural' or BC as the naturalistas call it. And the insecurities are intensified with every look in the mirror, despite people telling you that your hair looks beautiful, or, the funniest roundabout compliment I recieved: 'At least it looks okay on you', okay translating to ' Well, you could have looked a lot worse than you do'. Hilarious. Going natural has been one of the weirdest experiences of my life.
Anyways, before I go on filling this space without regard for the longevity of the post or the fact that I have to get back to my revision, I shall round this up. There is enough room for both natural haired girls and non - natural haired girls on the planet. There is no need for the naturalistas to look down upon the weave - laden women out there because of some latent belief that they are more 'woman' than the girl next door with a relaxer, neither is there need for the snobbery often witnessed from the 'permers' who think having such nappy hair on display for the world to see is abominable.
Let's all take a chill pill and enjoy the sunshine. Oh and revel in the beauty of being individually different; be it whilst rockin' an afro, or a perm.
Toodle - oo!